Why Didn't I Think of That 3....

Freakin' Genius!

2 Years Ago Today, All Hell Broke Loose...

For those waxing nostalgic, excerpts from my Katrina Blog:

Here She Comes...
August 28, 2005

7AM: Kids woke up. Wife sends me to the store for water, batteries, food and flashlights. Wal-Mart is completely picked over. No water, no batteries, no flashlights. Lines are long. Leave with only toilet paper and spaghetti-o's. Success at Walgreen's. The store is virtually empty. SCORE ON WATER, FLASHLIGHTS, AND BATTERIES!!!! WOOHOO!!!!

12PM: Calls from around the country coming in to check on the family: Virginia, Texas, NJ, Cali. Sun is shining bright. Cooler and drier than normal. Blue skies to the west, mass of clouds to the east. Poor New Orleans. One friend and family left New Orleans at 5pm on Saturday and took them 8 hours to drive 120 miles. Went back to Walgreen to get prescriptions filled. Store was packed. Water almost gone. Still had beer though, so picked up a case for emergencies.

3PM: Clouds have set in, but no wind. The children are planning their "hurricane party".

5PM: New Orleans is screwed! Doom and gloom all over the news. FEMA reporting that their simulations are showing up to 60,000 deaths. Mom just called wanting us to drive 60 miles further west to stay with her. Planning on riding out the storm from Baton Rouge. Can't fathom driving 6 hours with 2 kids to drive 60 miles. My company's security and safety department just called to check in. Wondering if I should be more nervous.

Here Comes The Rain. August 28, 2005

650p. Just started raining. The kids are bouncing off the wall. Put 3 mattresses on the floor in the front kids room. There's a 50 foot tall sycamore in our backyard. Probably safer for everyone to sleep in the front of the house.

Hurricanes are Sport... August 28, 2005

9:03p. Growing up on the gulf coast, hurricane tracking maps were available at every gas station, bank, and McDonald's. On the radio about every 10 minutes or so the DJ would announce the latest coordinates of the latest hurricane, and you would then put an "x" on your map matching those coordinates. Kind of like bingo I guess. My grandfather had this huge chalkboard with a map of the gulf and would get so excited about keeping track of the hurricane's progress. Back then the weatherman would have this magnetic board with the map and would move this large lawnmower blade shaped magnetic around with the coordinates. It was almost like tracking a relative coming for dinner or Santa Claus. The storms also had the friendliest names like Betty, or Bobby or Charley. Nothing to be afraid of.

Today, our children watch the weather and there this great big freaking red swirlie monster barreling across a geologically and geographically correct map heading dead straight for that point on the map where they are taught to say that they live. Not only that but someone must want to bring back the anxiety of the cold war giving the storm mad Russian names like Boris or Ivan or Katrina.
Longitude: 27.2N Latitude: 89.1W -for those keeping score at home.

Good Night K-K-K-Katie... August 28, 2005

1000P: Actually lost power for 30 minutes already. Not a good start.

Reality Check. The wife talked to a cousin, and her 80 year old great aunt had to evacuate from NOLA. Her aunt has been crying since she left, left her home of 50 years with all her memories, not sure if she'd ever see it again. Weatherman says cat 5 hurricane is like a 30 mile wide tornado. Looks like hurricane might be turning more westerly, which means not a direct impact on NOLA, but Biloxi is screwed either way. Powering down the laptop and heading for the campout in the kids bedroom.

If we lose power, I'll still try to blog via cell phone. Good Night, Good Luck, and God bless.

Largest City in Louisiana... August 30, 2005

Thanks for the emails and calls. The immediate family is doing fine. During the storm, the worst in Baton Rouge was downed power lines and tree branches. The power to our house is still down and not expected to be up until Saturday. We are staying with my wife's aunt as she has power and AIR CONDITIONING!!! Our small sales office has turned into a mini refugee camp with other employees and family staying here until the power is back up. Extended family from New Orleans has moved in with other relatives in Baton Rouge for an indefinite period as their homes are probably completely destroyed. But that's only the worst from a physical point of view.

Emotionally, Baton Rouge is just as devastated. Over night we have gone from the second biggest city in Louisiana to the first. Nearly 100,000 refugees are seeking shelter in Baton Rouge and Lafayette. Last account, New Orleans will not be habitable for 2-4 months, and not just a neighborhood or two but the whole city as well as the surrounding suburbs. Right now it looks like the entire power and water utilities will have to be rebuilt from the ground up, and most of the brick and wood homes will have to be rebuilt too. This is just the tip of the ice berg as we are heading into a period of rebuilding never seen before in America.

New Orleans isn't the only Louisiana area to suffer such devastation. The entire parishes (counties) of St. Bernard and Plaquemines are under 10-20 feet of water. One politician said after a fly over that these parishes have been swallowed up by the Gulf of Mexico.

MORE HERE...

Death Sees a Therapist!

A friend of mine was in her new psychiatrist's office, when her nice and friendly therapist received an urgent page that one of his patient's was in the ICU. The therapist then stated out loud that he'd have to wait to call back the ICU tomorrow because he had to attend another patient's funeral that afternoon.

My advice to my friend: RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Here's how the conversation went down:

INT. Saab - Some lonely road in the Texas Hill Country

CHLOE (cute as a button, 6 years old) sits in the back seat looking at the pictures of an American Girl Magazine. DAD (Chloe's dad, aka ME) drives the Saab singing along to AC/DC.

CHLOE
Dad?

DAD
Yes, Sweetheart?

CHLOE
When you were 6, what did you want to be when
you grew up?

DAD
Batman!
(The Adam West "Bam, Boom" Batman was on every afternoon.)

CHLOE
Then what?

DAD
A stunt man!
(Loved the "Fall Guy".)

CHLOE
Then what?

DAD
A movie director.
(Raiders of the lost ark rocked. I wanted to be George Lucas and/or Spielberg)

CHLOE
Then what?

DAD
A drummer. A rockstar.
(Tommy Lee, Neil Pert, John Bonham, you pick.)

CHLOE
And then?

DAD
The President of the United States.
(My grandfather used to tell everyone that I would be some day.)

CHLOE
No Dad, when did you want to be something real, like an
Engineer?

DAD
Hmmmm, I don't know.


SO WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP WHEN YOU WERE 6?

LA Stories... EPISODE I: Fun with Country Music Royalty...

Louisiana Stories, that is. Tales from my peeps.

Lafayette, LA
July 30, 2007

Chapter 1:
How many drunk cajuns does it take to rob Tim McGraw?

A FULL CAJUN DOME.

Chapter 2:
Later that night... Hell hath no fury like someone rubbing Faith Hill's man wrong.


At least Mr and Mrs McGraw will never forget Lafayette.

The Relativity of Anxiety..

When you're young, sure you think you're invincible, but you still fear stupid things like the no faced boogie man, or barking dogs with big nasty teeth, or flying mad yellow hornets. Then at some point you realize that there is no boogie man, that a dog's bark is much worse than it's bite, and that a hornet isn't really mad at you as long as you don't try to squash it. As you grow older, life experiences help calm your childhood anxieties only to give way to other more grown up fears. Fears of disease and sickness for your family; fears of no face boogie-man like terrorists; fears of the mad tax man. Maybe the tax man isn't so bad as long as you don't try to squash him.

$1M Resolution Updated...

4 months left in 2007; approximately $999,917.53 left to acquire. Is $1M that big of deal anyway? More thoughts to come on this...